Now it's time for amasians... That's Asians doing something amazing.

Recently started flat ironing my ball hair. Come on ladies, you know how it is; if you have curly hair you just want straight hair.

I don't know what fire is made of - hell nobody does. All I know is that fire is awesome. I'm not a pyromaniac, but I am a pyroenthusiast.

A gynecologist is the dentist for the downstairs mouth.

Sure I may look adjusted, but I can't function in normal society because most of you are too stupid.

The day I notice a cyclist obey a stop sign is the day I'll stop enjoying watching them bounce off my hood.

I have no idea why people want to watch puppets be the slightly meaner version of the weirdo holding them. It's beyond my comprehension.