I have high-definition television, because I felt the lack of resolution was affecting my ability to solve cases on C.S.I.

I don't know why I get away with some things. But I'm not a misogynistic, racist person. Yet I do find those jokes funny, so I say them. And I try to say everything kind of in a good spirit.

The great thing about Los Angeles is that you can get so much money in this town by constantly failing. You can get a lot of television deals that don't go anywhere, but you still get paid.

I don't know what fire is made of - hell nobody does. All I know is that fire is awesome. I'm not a pyromaniac, but I am a pyroenthusiast.

It's not Spring Break until somebody dies!

I can say that. I have a television show.

The only reason Woodstock was necessary is because they didn't have iTunes.