The day I notice a cyclist obey a stop sign is the day I'll stop enjoying watching them bounce off my hood.

Even the klan revamped their image by losing the hoods and changing their name to the Tea Party.

If it weren't for men, this planet would be overrun with giant spiders.

Being a white boxer is like being a republican. No matter how hard you work, you'll always lose because of the Mexicans.

I worked in Toronto for two days. And by work I mean sit in a trailer for 15 hours, say two lines, and leave.

If Canada were really that great, it would be a state.

Being an ugly woman is like being a man. You're gonna have to work. Yep.