The day I notice a cyclist obey a stop sign is the day I'll stop enjoying watching them bounce off my hood.

The hardest working person in showbusiness has never been or ever will be a 'famous person'.

Sometimes my mind wanders; other times it leaves completely.

Men who don't understand women fall into two groups: Bachelors and Husbands.

Canadians complain too much. 'I like seasons.' So do I; that's why I live in a place that skips the [unpleasant] ones.

I don't know, maybe I'm immature, but I still find it funny if I dump cold water on my girlfriend when she's in the shower.

The day I notice a cyclist obey a stop sign is the day I'll stop enjoying watching them bounce off my hood.