Sometimes my mind wanders; other times it leaves completely.

I've always thought having a kid that played soccer would be the worst punishment. After watching 3 min of water polo I stand corrected.

Canadians complain too much. 'I like seasons.' So do I; that's why I live in a place that skips the [unpleasant] ones.

If you had to eat another human to survive, do you think they'd taste like their ethnic background?

The hardest working person in showbusiness has never been or ever will be a 'famous person'.

Have you heard about the morning after pill, or what I like to call breakfast in bed. Well have you heard about how some of the girls who have taken have died a few days later? Talk about two birds, looks like I will be going to the game this weekend boys.

I can say that. I have a television show.