If it weren't for men, this planet would be overrun with giant spiders.

No touching... Cashmere is highly sensitive to the oil in poor people's fingers.

I think boxers are the greatest athletes in all sports for the simple fact that they don't cry. That is mind-blowing. Have you ever been punched in the nose? Oh my gosh, it hurts so bad. They have to go back to corner, where some little man yells at them. 'Shut up, I just got punched in the face!'... If I was a boxer, do you know who I would hire as my corner man? My mom.

I hope God speaks English. If I get up to heaven and have to point at a menu, I'm gonna be pissed.

Here’s what I tell people now when they come to my shows: “First of all, thank you for stimulating the economy, or at least my economic package.”

Oh, southern rappers... so hard to write a rhyme when you only know 30 words.

If you offer me a starring role in a movie, I have no interest.