You know what really keeps your staff on their toes? A harpoon gun.
It's not a stereotype if it's always true.
Real patriotism is realizing America sucks, but everywhere else is a thousand times worse.
Recently started flat ironing my ball hair. Come on ladies, you know how it is; if you have curly hair you just want straight hair.
I'm aware that I should end a joke with the good part, I choose not too.
One day, I want to get rich enough so that every time I walk into a room I can release a dozen doves.