No touching... Cashmere is highly sensitive to the oil in poor people's fingers.

Even the klan revamped their image by losing the hoods and changing their name to the Tea Party.

If Canada were really that great, it would be a state.

I will shut down Instagram so girls can't use filters into tricking us that they are that pretty; you're eyes aren't that blue, and you don't glow.

You can accept that things are awful and still have a sense of humor about it.

I hope we find a cure for every major disease, because I'm tired of walking 5K. I'm pretty sure I don't have to sweat for cancer. I'll write a check.

I feel bad sometimes because I secretly hope New Orleans gets nailed again.