Yes, I am aware that I am the gayer version of Jeff Lewis.
Big can be beautiful - just not to me. I find you disgusting; freshmen 15 is not a life sentence.
I love people of all ethnicities, as long as they're not ugly.
You know your girlfriend is too young when she'll do everything in bed but go upside down because it's too scary.
Men who don't understand women fall into two groups: Bachelors and Husbands.
A gynecologist is the dentist for the downstairs mouth.