I think the English are bipolar. 'We're the greatest, no we're terrible' - that's a constant English struggle. Crime is down, there's little poverty - yet it's always the worst time to have lived here.

Science knows it doesn't know everything; otherwise, it'd stop. But just because science doesn't know everything doesn't mean you can fill in the gaps with whatever fairy tale most appeals to you.

Nostalgia is heroin for old people.

If we were truly created by God, why do we occasionally bite the insides of our mouths?

Science "knows" it doesn't know everything, otherwise it would stop.

There are three states of legality in Irish law. There is all this stuff which comes under That's grand, then it moves into Ah now don't push it, and finally it comes under Right now you're takin the piss, and that's when the police come in.

I'm an appalling cook. I can just about create a glass of orange juice and a ham-and-cheese sandwich.