This is one Fruit Loop beyond certifiable.

After a long, labored sigh, I said, “She was really happy when I got there. I’m pretty sure she was suicidal when I left.” “You do have that effect on people.

Does your uncle need anything? A coffee? A latte?” “He needs someone to bear his illegitimate child if you’re interested

Genius has its limitations. Insanity...not so much" -Bumper Sticker

I'd have a longer attention span if there weren't so many shiny things.

Yeah, but what happens if life hands me pickles? - Bumper sticker

I chose the road less traveled. Now I'm lost.