This is one Fruit Loop beyond certifiable.

He was like chocolate-covered heroin, and I was an addict through and through.

Every night in my dreams, a man appeared from the darkest recesses of my mind, as if he'd been waiting for me to fall asleep. His mouth, full, masculine, would sear my flesh. His tongue, like flames across my skin, would send tiny sparks quaking through my body. Then he would dip south, and the heavens would open and a chorus singing hallelujah would ring out in perfect harmony.

In three hundred feet, turn right," Darth Vader said. The Darth Vader. I felt like we were friends now. Like I could tell him anything.

Dude,” I said, leaning over the desk, “I’m about as psychic as a carrot.

This guy in high school tried to run me over with his dad’s SUV. Bad shoved the vehicle through a store window.” The memory brought a smile to my face.

Honestly, he acted as though he didn't like me anymore. Wait, maybe he didn't. "Do you still like me?" "I never liked you." Oh, right. He had a point. Garreth & Charley