It would be a miracle to solve this case. Luckily, I believed in miracles. No, wait, that was testicles. I believed in testicles.

Where have you been?" I stepped into my apartment and met Uncle Bob's glare with one of my own. "Out trying to pass myself off as a movie producer to get hot guys to sleep with me. Where have you been?

I'm a virgin. But this is an old shirt. --T-SHIRT

Hello?" I said, because Charley's House of Pasties seemed wrong.

Jesus may love you, but i'm his favourite

When life hands you lemons say, "Lemons? What else have you got?" - bumper sticker

I love children, but I don't think I can eat a whole one.- Bumper sticker