Did you get checked out?” “Yeah, by a hot blond who sat in the corner of the bar and made googly eyes at me.” “I meant by a doctor.” “No, but a balding yet bizarrely hot paramedic said I’d be fine." “Oh, and he’s an expert?” “At flirting.

A Nuns Life: Chastity, poverty, and obedience. Wait, chastity?" BUMPER STICKER

Since I had a soft spot for zombies and my curiosity was killing me, I opted for plan Z.

What's your specialty? Oh, you know. Madness. Mayhem. Debauchery. And even with all that going for me, I can still make a mean mojito.

Glitch was about as wild and unpredictable as a carrot stick.

Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realize you're wrong. -T-Shirt

Felt my heartbeat falter, hesitate, then stumble awkwardly forward, tripping on the next beat, then the next, faster and faster until each one tumbled into the other like the drumroll of dominoes crashing together. Funny how time stands still when death is imminent.