For a long time the people at my shows were sort of the Pantera-tattoo trucker guys, really cool dudes, but I don't know what happened to them. That's the crowd that I like, the ones that don't get so offended just to be offended.
Dave AttellOnce you get offstage you're just like everyone else, and everyone else can get into a fight.
Dave AttellMy cousin had a baby and I was watching her breastfeed for a couple of bucks, and I'll tell you ladies: it's amazing.
Dave AttellIf I was to have sex with one animal it would be a horse. That is a beautiful animal. And when you have sex with a horse, you know you always have a ride home.
Dave AttellI hang out with my dad mostly, my dad was in the military. He's at that age now where his war stories and other stories have blended together, so now you don't know what he's talking about. One time, we were surrounded, then we ran out of ammo, then we were fighting hand-to-hand, then we started dancing, and that's how I met your mother.
Dave Attell