Why do they collect garbarge at 5am? Why? It's garbage. It's not going to go bad again.

I have no grand scheme.

I have a lot of pot tendencies. I'm always late, I laugh for no reason, I watch Jeopardy! with the sound off and make up my own questions.

I feel like soundtrack music is almost like seeing the movie again, but with my ears.

You know what wakes me up? A tongue in the ass. There is no alarm clock on that one, you are up, you are shaking, you are in a karate stance.....the day has begun.

I went skiing today, too, yeah. I didn't wanna go. The girl I'm stalking wanted to go, so... I'm not kiddin!

Here's a tip: never get drunk while wearing a hooded sweatshirt. You will eventually think there's someone right behind you.