Sometimes. I get recognized, but I'm not really a famous famous. I'm pretty low on the showbiz totem pole - I mean, I'm no Jon or Kate plus eight. I'm just a comic, not a baby factory.

Sparklers are the gay cousins of the fireworks family.

Why do they collect garbarge at 5am? Why? It's garbage. It's not going to go bad again.

I don't think I'm a star or a celebrity or any thing like that.

I don't mind a crowd's not laughing; it's the groans that slow down the show.

I have no grand scheme.

I gotta quit smoking, doctor's orders, and the drinking, court orders.