Have you seen that magazine Barely Legal? That means when you look at it, you're almost a pedophile.
Dave AttellFriends are important, dontcha think? Hmmm? I think so. The way I see it, you got friends, and you got your best friend, big difference. To me, a friend's a guy who will help you move. A best friend's a guy who will help you move a body. That's how I look at it.
Dave AttellSo, I travel a lot. I hate traveling, mostly 'cause my dad used to beat me with a globe.
Dave Attell