Jesse Joyce is a great writer.
If I had a kid, I'd give him a name that would make everyone would want to say his name. I'd call him, Pizza-Pussy-Santa. I would! Cause everybody likes one of those things.
I'm a joke comic. I tell jokes.
Why do they collect garbarge at 5am? Why? It's garbage. It's not going to go bad again.
Sparklers are the gay cousins of the fireworks family.
Pre-mature ejaculation. Let's talk about it. Premature ejaculation. That's a pretty fancy term for, "Ooooooh Oh no. This has never happened before."