My cousin had a baby and I was watching her breastfeed for a couple of bucks, and I'll tell you ladies: it's amazing.

I don't think I'm a star or a celebrity or any thing like that.

I never wanted to be famous.

I don't have a girlfriend but sometimes I like to pretend I do. I just stand in my apartment screaming No, that's not what I said!

I have no grand scheme.

Let's say you're in a situation where crystal meth can help you. Like, I don't know, you have too many teeth.

I'm very romantic when I masturbate. Sometimes I light a candle...then I try and shoot it out. It's like a carnival.