My cousin had a baby and I was watching her breastfeed for a couple of bucks, and I'll tell you ladies: it's amazing.

I have an imagination because my life is so boring that my imagination lets me get off the reality of what's going on.

I like doing stand-up and I love putting out TV specials.

I have soundtracks for a lot of stuff.

I have no grand scheme.

Once you get offstage you're just like everyone else, and everyone else can get into a fight.

I don't mind a crowd's not laughing; it's the groans that slow down the show.