The voice in my head has a stutter, and that's really annoying. D-D-D-Dave Dave. What? K-K-K-Kill your p-p-p-parents. L-L-L-Loa... Write it down!

I don't watch reality TV.

I tell you one thing that's great about children. They don't need a show to have fun. What do they need? A book of matches, some oily rags, a little brother... that's all they need.

Jesse Joyce is a great writer.

You know, men and women are a lot alike in certain situations. Like when they're both on fire - they're exactly alike.

So I took her back to my place and we did it doggy style, not because we planned it that way, but that's just how she passed out.

Let's say you're in a situation where crystal meth can help you. Like, I don't know, you have too many teeth.