The voice in my head has a stutter, and that's really annoying. D-D-D-Dave Dave. What? K-K-K-Kill your p-p-p-parents. L-L-L-Loa... Write it down!
Dave AttellThere's a fine line between masturbating while you look out a window, and masturbating while you're looking in a window. I'll give you a hint: one of 'em is super illegal.
Dave AttellSometimes you need a cigarette. Like after you have sex with a beautiful woman or a confused young man.
Dave Attell