Every dude in here has had a fantasy about Jessica Simpson. Here's mine: Jessica, hold your sister Ashlee so I can kick her in the throat.
Dave AttellHere's a tip: never get drunk while wearing a hooded sweatshirt. You will eventually think there's someone right behind you.
Dave AttellI went skiing today, too, yeah. I didn't wanna go. The girl I'm stalking wanted to go, so... I'm not kiddin!
Dave Attell