It's a horrible economy but I'm trying to do my part. I just bought a new shower curtain it has all the presidents on it. Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with all the presidents staring at you? And when the water hits them it looks like they're crying.

I have soundtracks for a lot of stuff.

Women have all the power because women have all the vaginas.

For me, Molly Hatchet is high school. It makes me feel like I have hair and a future.

I get recognized, but I'm not really a famous famous.

I smoke so much. Three packs a day... I went to the bathroom, a camel came out of my ass.

You know what my drink is? Jack Daniel's. Yes, that is a wild man drink. That should come with bail money, you know what I'm saying? Because on Jack, you don't know where you're going to end up, but you know when you get there, you won't be wearing any pants.