My gym has two-pound weights. If you're using two-pound weights, how did you even open the door to the gym? What's your dream? To pump up and open your mail?
Dave AttellFor a long time the people at my shows were sort of the Pantera-tattoo trucker guys, really cool dudes, but I don't know what happened to them. That's the crowd that I like, the ones that don't get so offended just to be offended.
Dave AttellI have a lot of pot tendencies. I'm always late, I laugh for no reason, I watch Jeopardy! with the sound off and make up my own questions.
Dave AttellYou ever make fun of someone so much, you think you should thank them for all the good times you've had?
Dave Attell