I'm sorry, was that homophobic? No--I think it was, 'cause I hear that a lot. Dave, What?, You're talking about being gay. You probably secretly are gay. And I'm like listen voice in my head, I'm not! HOW DO YOU KNOW YOU WOULDN'T LIKE IT? HOW DO YOU KNOW YOU WOULDN'T LIKE IT? I know I wouldn't like it, other scarier voice in my head! 'Cause one time while making a sandwich, a cucumber went up my ass. Three times.

I smoke so much. Three packs a day... I went to the bathroom, a camel came out of my ass.

I'm not like a performer type.

Have you seen that magazine Barely Legal? That means when you look at it, you're almost a pedophile.

Jesse Joyce is a great writer.

You gotta make your own fun. That's right, listen to that mother of two, she knows what I'm talking about.

I feel like soundtrack music is almost like seeing the movie again, but with my ears.