I gotta quit smoking, doctor's orders, and the drinking, court orders.
Aspirin will not bring dead hookers back to life.
If you take off your pants and her first reaction is, "Awwww, look at it...like a little baby Jesus." Time to buy a Porsche.
I'm not the comic of the generation, I'm not even the funniest guy in my family.
Women have all the power because women have all the vaginas.
I'm a joke comic. I tell jokes.