I have soundtracks for a lot of stuff.

So I took her back to my place and we did it doggy style, not because we planned it that way, but that's just how she passed out.

I hang out with my dad mostly, my dad was in the military. He's at that age now where his war stories and other stories have blended together, so now you don't know what he's talking about. One time, we were surrounded, then we ran out of ammo, then we were fighting hand-to-hand, then we started dancing, and that's how I met your mother.

I don't mind a crowd's not laughing; it's the groans that slow down the show.

I have an imagination because my life is so boring that my imagination lets me get off the reality of what's going on.

You ever make fun of someone so much, you think you should thank them for all the good times you've had?

Being on the road is kind of lonely.