A lot of these kids I think are more content just to be on Facebook and the computer than they are to actually go out. They just really want to get a picture to post to their buddies, and that's about it.

I don't have a girlfriend but sometimes I like to pretend I do. I just stand in my apartment screaming No, that's not what I said!

I like doing stand-up and I love putting out TV specials.

Yeah, I know, some people are against drunk driving, and I call those people 'the cops.' But you know, sometimes, you've just got no choice; those kids gotta get to school!

I have soundtracks for a lot of stuff.

You ever make fun of someone so much, you think you should thank them for all the good times you've had?

When I was a kid, I really loved Indians. Native Americans. Pardon. Me.