You know, men and women are a lot alike in certain situations. Like when they're both on fire - they're exactly alike.

For me, Molly Hatchet is high school. It makes me feel like I have hair and a future.

I wanna get a little drunk, but I also want some pancakes.

Sex and murder are the same. Well, you say the same after both don't you? "Damn I got to get the hell out of here!" "What was I thinking!"

When I was a kid, I really loved Indians. Native Americans. Pardon. Me.

I watch the Discovery Channel, and you know what I've discovered? I need a girlfriend.

If I was to have sex with one animal it would be a horse. That is a beautiful animal. And when you have sex with a horse, you know you always have a ride home.