I'm a joke comic. I tell jokes. I like writing a joke, and I like when a joke works, and I like other comics who tell jokes.

If you take off your pants and her first reaction is, "Awwww, look at it...like a little baby Jesus." Time to buy a Porsche.

Women have all the power because women have all the vaginas.

Sex and murder are the same. Well, you say the same after both don't you? "Damn I got to get the hell out of here!" "What was I thinking!"

I like doing stand-up and I love putting out TV specials.

When I was a kid, I really loved Indians. Native Americans. Pardon. Me.

I'm a joke comic. I tell jokes.