Friends are important, dontcha think? Hmmm? I think so. The way I see it, you got friends, and you got your best friend, big difference. To me, a friend's a guy who will help you move. A best friend's a guy who will help you move a body. That's how I look at it.

My day jobs... I knew I was bad at those, so I didn't really have the confidence to think that I could do comedy. But I knew I hated the day jobs.

I gotta quit smoking, doctor's orders, and the drinking, court orders.

When I was a kid, I really loved Indians. Native Americans. Pardon. Me.

Being on the road is kind of lonely.

Why do they collect garbarge at 5am? Why? It's garbage. It's not going to go bad again.

I'm not really a music guy.