Remember when you're young and you think your dad is Superman? And then you grow up and realized he's just a drunk who wears a cape.

I have soundtracks for a lot of stuff.

I'm not really a music guy.

You ever make fun of someone so much, you think you should thank them for all the good times you've had?

I'm a joke comic. I tell jokes.

I like doing stand-up and I love putting out TV specials. I'm not an actor though, so I don't really have much choice in the matter.

If I had a kid, I'd give him a name that would make everyone would want to say his name. I'd call him, Pizza-Pussy-Santa. I would! Cause everybody likes one of those things.