There's a fine line between masturbating while you look out a window, and masturbating while you're looking in a window. I'll give you a hint: one of 'em is super illegal.

So I took her back to my place and we did it doggy style, not because we planned it that way, but that's just how she passed out.

Sometimes. I get recognized, but I'm not really a famous famous. I'm pretty low on the showbiz totem pole - I mean, I'm no Jon or Kate plus eight. I'm just a comic, not a baby factory.

There's a late-night scene in every town, and everyone has something going on, ... I've heard good stories about (Syracuse); this is a very good party town, a good drinking place. I definitely would like to come back and check it out further. Do some more research, as I call it.

I'm not the comic of the generation, I'm not even the funniest guy in my family.

I gotta quit smoking, doctor's orders, and the drinking, court orders.

For me, Molly Hatchet is high school. It makes me feel like I have hair and a future.