People in the computer industry use the term 'user,' which to them means 'idiot.'

The objective is not so much to walk your dog, as it is to empty him.

I suspect that LaGuardia is an elaborate prank, and New York has a real airport nearby that only locals know about.

The Japanese tend to be far more co-operative and docile and group-oriented. It would be easier to get the entire population of Tokyo to wear matching outfits than to get any two randomly selected Americans to agree on pizza toppings.

I actually like south Florida. I never lived in a more interesting place than this. I've never met a wider range of people. I guess when I came here I thought there were Cubans and then there were people from New York and that was Miami. Now I know that it's Cubans, people from New York, and some people from New Jersey.

You should be prepared for anything during divorce proceedings - even the truth.

You should never say anything to a woman that even remotely suggests that you think she's pregnant unless you can see an actual baby emerging from her at that moment.