The reason it's called "Grape Nuts" is that it contains "dextrose," which is also sometimes called "grape sugar," and also because "Grape Nuts" is catchier, in terms of marketing, than "A Cross Between Gerbil Food and Gravel," which is what it tastes like.

There are two distinctive classes of people today, those who have personal computers, and those who have several thousand extra dollars apiece.

Orangutan are very weird animals but they look very soulful.

Your job is to give people a reason to keep reading.

Although a science fair can seem like a big "pain" it can help you understand important scientific principles, such as Newton's First Law of Inertia, which states: "A body at rest will remain at rest until 8:45 p.m. the night before the science fair project is due, at which point the body will come rushing to the body's parents, who are already in their pajamas, and shout, 'I JUST REMEMBERED THE SCIENCE FAIR IS TOMORROW AND WE GOTTA GO TO THE STORE RIGHT NOW!'"

Chair lifts need to be in some places so that we can get to wonderful views without having to hike to them.

The letters in 'Brace Beemer' can be arranged to spell 'Embrace Beer.'