I think if you use Twitter and social media as your main source of information you are an idiot, but I think most people who use it know better, so I kind of enjoy it.

Is there a medical rule that requires doctors-office personnel to treat you as though you have the IQ of a Cheeto?

I am not the only person who uses his computer mainly for the purpose of diddling with his computer.

The problem with winter sports is that - follow me closely here - they generally take place in winter.

If you have a big enough dictionary, just about everything is a word.

Look, in particular, at the people who, like you, are making average incomes for doing average jobs- bank vice presidents, insurance salesmen, auditors, secretaries of defense- and you'll realie they all dress the same way, essentially the way the mannequins in the Sears menswear department dress. Now look at the real successes, the people who make a lot more money than you- Elton John, Captain Kangaroo, anybody from Saudi Arabia, Big Bird, and so on. They all dress funny- and they all succeed.

When trouble arises and things look bad, there is always one individual who perceives a solution and is willing to take command. Very often, that individual is crazy.