The first animals to be successfully domesticated were dogs, which were a big help because they would bark all night and fetch thrown sticks, thereby freeing humans from having to perform these tedious yet vital tasks.

Sailboats are the slowest form of transportation on Earth with the possible exeption of airline flights that go through O'Hare.

Camping is nature's way of promoting the motel business.

I do not mean to be the slightest bit critical of TV newspeople, who do a superb job, considering that they operate under severe time constraints and have the intellectual depth of hamsters. But TV news can only present the "bare bones" of a story; it takes a newspaper, with its capability to present vast amounts of information, to render the story truly boring.

Is there a medical rule that requires doctors-office personnel to treat you as though you have the IQ of a Cheeto?

San Francisco leads the world in the category of Most People On The Sidewalk Holding Conversations With Purely Imaginary Companions.

Nevada has a very dynamic economy, with gambling being the number-one industry, followed closely by blood donorship.