San Francisco leads the world in the category of Most People On The Sidewalk Holding Conversations With Purely Imaginary Companions.

I am much more likely to care about someone trying to be funny and give them some credit for whatever he or she did that was remotely funny than I am to be mused by somebody declaring this isn't funny, that isn't funny, this sucks. If you want to write humor, you're going to have to get used to that.

The nuclear generator of brain sludge is television.

And what is the Scientific Community doing about these problems, young people? THEY'RE CLONING SHEEP. Great! Just what we need! Sheep that look MORE ALIKE than they already do! Thanks a lot, Scientific Community!

Is there a medical rule that requires doctors-office personnel to treat you as though you have the IQ of a Cheeto?

I want a pit crew... I hate the procedure I currently have to go through when I have car problems.

Generally the pythons are better than anything else at killing.