There is a breed of fashion models who weigh no more than an abridged dictionary.

What I need is a search engine that, no matter what I type in, comes back with GO BACK TO WORK.

Skiing combines outdoor fun with knocking down trees with your face.

Magnetism is one of the Six Fundamental Forces of the Universe, with the other five being Gravity, Duct Tape, Whining, Remote Control, and The Force That Pulls Dogs Toward The Groins Of Strangers.

The primary function of the government is - and here I am quoting directly from the U.S. Constitution - 'to spew out paper.'

The Hawaiian Islands were discovered by hardy Polynesian sailors, who crossed thousands of miles of open ocean in primitive canoes, braving violent storm-tossed seas for months at a time. My family and I arrived by modern commercial aviation, which was infinitely worse.

Dating means doing a lot of fun things you will never do again if you get married. The fun stops with marriage because you're trying to save money for when you split up your property.