The primary function of the government is - and here I am quoting directly from the U.S. Constitution - 'to spew out paper.'

I am not the only person who uses his computer mainly for the purpose of diddling with his computer.

Someone was tapping on the window.

The term SAT is a set of initials, or autonym, standing for Scholastic Attitude Treaty Organization.

Your hand and your mouth agreed many years ago that, as far as chocolate is concerned, there is no need to involve your brain.

One night in Tokyo we watched two Japanese businessmen saying good-night to each other after what had clearly been a long night of drinking, a major participant sport in Japan. These men were totally snockered, having reached the stage of inebriation wherein every air molecule that struck caused them to wobble slightly, but they still managed to behave more formally than Americans do at funerals.

With humor you have so many options with topics and length, I mean I can write humor essays in books now and they can be as long as I want them to be.