Your federal government needs your money so that it can perform vital services for you that you would not think up yourself in a million years.

Software: These programs give instruction to the CPU, which processes billions of tiny facts called bytes, and within a fraction of a second it sends you an error message that requires you to call the customer-support hot line and be placed on hold for approximately the life-span of a caribou.

Magnetism, as you recall from physics class, is a powerful force that causes certain items to be attracted to refrigerators.

I don't have any insight or understanding on anything about the government. All I think is that it's stupid - which is the one perspective that's almost completely lacking in Washington.

It always rains on tents. Rainstorms will travel thousands of miles, against prevailing winds for the opportunity to rain on a tent.

Dogs do not grasp the concept of house cleaning.

Of course God enjoys a good prank as much as the next infallible deity.