Too many bugs and leeches and spiders and spiderwebs. Please spray the wilderness to rid the area of these pests.

A printer consists of three main parts: the case, the jammed paper tray and the blinking red light.

Although golf was originally restricted to wealthy, overweight Protestants, today it's open to anybody who owns hideous clothing.

Miami, you can never run out of material. As long as you have Miami around you, you will never, never stop being amused.

Rembrandt's first name was Beauregard, which is why he never used it.

I'm not the only taxpayer who has no idea what he's sending to the IRS. This year, only 28 percent of all Americans will prepare their own tax returns, according to a voice in my head that invents accurate-sounding statistics.

With humor you have so many options with topics and length, I mean I can write humor essays in books now and they can be as long as I want them to be.