...Hell, which as every frequent traveler knows, is in Concourse D of O'Hare Airport.

Recently I began to feel this void in my life, even after meals, and I said to myself, "Dave, all you do with your spare time is sit around and drink beer. You need a hobby." So I got a hobby. I make beer.

I would rather undergo a vasectomy via Weed Whacker than attend an opera.

The Internet is a giant international network of intelligent, informed computer enthusiasts, by which I mean, "people without lives." We don't care. We have each other.

Remember how he handled the Iran-contra Never Ending Scandal from Hell? He went on national television, the President of the United States, and said it wasn't his fault, because he was not aware, at the time, of what his foreign policy was.

Someone was tapping on the window.

Florida's number three industry, behind tourism and skin cancer, is voter fraud.