Life is anything that dies when you stomp on it.

The United States tried, by depressing the clutch of diplomacy and downshifting the gearshift lever of rhetoric, to remain neutral, but it became increasingly obvious that the nation was going to get into a war, especially since it was almost 1812.

Someone was tapping on the window.

Your hand and your mouth agreed many years ago that, as far as chocolate is concerned, there is no need to involve your brain.

I want to gag sometimes when I see who "we" are recommending that people vote for, and not just as a libertarian.

The taxpayers cannot be relied upon to support performing arts such as opera. As a taxpayer, I am forced to admit that I would rather undergo a vasectomy via Weed Whacker than attend an opera.

Airline food is not intended for human consumption. It's intended as a form of in-flight entertainment, wherein the object is to guess what it is, starting with broad categories such as "mineral" and "linoleum."