Life is anything that dies when you stomp on it.

Another important rule of affair-having: Never be discreet at the office.

Unless you live in Indonesia, there should be several malls within five miles of your home. It makes no difference whatsoever which one you go to: Under federal law, all malls in the United States must have the same 42 chain stores.

Why don’t you lift the end?” said Alf. “It’s me back, Alf,” complained Mack. “You know how it troubles me.” “No more than mine troubles me,” said Alf. “But I said it first,” said Mack.

You will never find anybody who can give you a clear and compelling reason why we observe daylight savings time.

How can you be afraid of women?” “Those ain’t normal women.

When I read that I had to go to Gettysburg.