We operate under a jury system in this country, and as much as we complain about it, we have to admit that we know of no better system, except possibly flipping a coin.

Have you noticed that whatever sport you're trying to learn, some earnest person is always telling you to keep your knees bent?

People in the computer industry use the term 'user,' which to them means 'idiot.'

Those who can't laugh at themselves leave the job to others.

I realize that I'm generalizing here, but as is often the case when I generalize, I don't care.

As a professional journalist, I have always been fascinated by people who appear to have even more spare time than I do.

Today's toys contain computer chips, so they can move and talk; this stimulates the mind of your child. Notice I say "your child." MY child just wants to eat the toys.