Have you noticed that whatever sport you're trying to learn, some earnest person is always telling you to keep your knees bent?

Some [soccer] players suffer four or five fatal injuries per game. That's how tough they are.

Never allow a child to spend all of his allowance. Insist that he set aside a certain amount of money every week and put it in a safe place, where you can get it if you need to buy beer.

My problem with chess was that all my pieces wanted to end the game as soon as possible.

Your job is to give people a reason to keep reading.

The one thing I'm terrified of trying to write about is sex. I mean my God, my wife might read it or my daughter might read it or my son might read it, so no, I've never really written about eroticism at all.

Classical music gradually lost popularity because it is too complicated: you need twenty-five or thirty skilled musicians just to hum it properly. So people began to develop regular music.