I guess libertarianism is always considered so weird and fringe that people assume that you're in the closet if you don't go around talking about it.

The doctor looked at my cardiogram and made that "hmmmm" noise that doctors are taught in medical school so they won't come right out and say "UH-oh!"

Too many bugs and leeches and spiders and spiderwebs. Please spray the wilderness to rid the area of these pests.

I've gained a few pounds around the middle. The only lower body garments I own that still fit me comfortably are towels.

Denmark (also called Norway) is best known as the original home of the prune Danish as well as the Vikings, who wore hats with horns sticking out of them, and for a very good reason: they were insane.

I did all this stuff that was illegal when I was a kid. I drank beer when I was 15. I smoked cigarettes when I was 13. I drove to New York City when I was 14 - don't tell my son. Those things were against the law, but I did them anyway. I didn't become a heroin addict, although I probably could have gotten heroin somehow. I don't think my son would buy heroin at any price. He knows what it is, and he knows how stupid it is.

Motto of the U.S. airline industry - "We're Hoping to Have a Motto Announcement in About an Hour."