First, a few words about this title. It isn't easy, coming up with book titles. A lot of the really good ones are taken. Thin Thighs in 30 Days, for example. Also The Bible.

The major parties could conduct live human sacrifices on their podiums during prime time, and I doubt that anybody would notice.

In more than 20 years of opening beers with guys, I have NEVER seen the Swedish Bikini Team show up. Almost always, the teams that show up in beer drinking situations consist of guys who have been playing league softball and smell like bus seats.

The other major kind of computer is the "Apple," which I do not recommend, because it is a wuss-o-rama New-Age computer you basically just plug in and use.

When I say 'serve you better,' I mean 'increase our profits.' We newspapers are very big on profits these days.

How can you be afraid of women?” “Those ain’t normal women.

Newspaper readership is declining like crazy. In fact, there's a good chance that nobody is reading my column.