England manufactures most of the world's airline food, as well as all the food you ever ate in your junior-high-school cafeteria.

A person who is nice to you, but rude to the waiter, is not a nice person.

In fact, when you get right down to it, almost every explanation Man came up with for anything until about 1926 was stupid.

Please try not to be such a wiener-head.

Nobody in the United States knows what either a "meter" or a "kilogram" is. The whole reason why we fought the Cold War was so we wouldn't have to learn the metric system.

Another foreign-policy triumph for Reagan was his 1984 visit to China, where he met for more than three hours with Mao Zedong before realizing that Mao was dead.

Skiers view snowboarders as a menace; snowboarders view skiers as Elmer Fudd.