If everybody were a guy, the human race could easily get by on less than one twentieth the current number of shoes.

I think Superman should go on the Larry King show and announce that he would come back to life if people in all 50 states wanted him to.

What women want: To be loved, to be listened to, to be desired, to be respected, to be needed, to be trusted, and sometimes, just to be held. What men want: Tickets to the World Series.

The porpoises said hello to Molly. She told them all her teeth were green.

I played lead guitar in a band called The Federal Duck, which is the kind of name that was popular in the '60s as a result of controlled substances being in widespread use. Back then, there were no restrictions, in terms of talent, on who could make an album, so we made one, and it sounds like a group of people who have been given powerful but unfamiliar instruments as a therapy for a degenerative nerve disease.

I really try to think cinematically, because that's how people read. They create a theater in their minds.

The taxpayers cannot be relied upon to support performing arts such as opera. As a taxpayer, I am forced to admit that I would rather undergo a vasectomy via Weed Whacker than attend an opera.