Why is Dave Chappelle going to Africa? Why does Mariah Carey make a hundred-million dollar deal and take her clothes off on TRL? A weak person can not get here and talk to you. Ain't no weak people talking to you. So what is happening in Hollywood? Nobody knows! The worst thing to call somebody is crazy. It's dismissive. I don't understand this person, so they're crazy. That's bullshit. These people are not crazy, they're strong people. Maybe the environment is a little sick.

I have a very good life, a high quality of life. I have both money and time. No one has that.

Comedians by and large are some of the most sensitive people on earth. Even if they're socially callous.

I'm Dave Chappelle and I'm a chronic masturbator.

The higher up I went, the less happy I was.

They do what they do for money - that's all. I don't even know why you're listening to me. I've done commercials for both Coke and Pepsi. Truth is, I can't even taste the difference, but Pepsi paid me last, so there it is.

I got married recently. So far, so good. Less sex than I expected, but other than that, it's a pretty good lifestyle.