When I'm on stage, I get real happy there. Maybe that's the only time in my adult life I feel like myself.

Dave! Relax! Close your buttcheeks!

The kid is the best thing that ever happened to me.

I'm cool with failing so long as I know that there are people around me that love me unconditionally.

You can't get unfamous. You can get infamous but you can't get unfamous.

I don't care if I ever work in TV again.

I always take a relationship to the next level. If that works out, I take it to the next level after that, until I finally reach that level when it becomes absolutely necessary for me to leave.